Slipping through my fingers
by drfondue
Summary: Sam's in High school and has just turned 17. Suffering from the loss of someone close to him that he blames himself for, he starts to deteriorate in to a spiral of depression and anger. This is a story of how Sam hits Rock Bottom and with the help of friends old and new, he learns how to get back on to his feet and that maybe, it's possible to fall in love twice. [Sabriel, Destiel]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**I would've stayed up with you all night**

**_10 days ago_**

"Promise?" Jess said, batting her eyelashes at him as she protruded her lower lip in to a cute pout.

Sam grinned and leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. "I'll be there at nine, I promise. When am I ever late anyway?"

He pulled away ever so slightly, his lips brushing against her cheek for a moment before they found her lips. He pressed his soft lips against hers, smiling in to the kiss as he tasted the sweet flavour of her strawberry lip gloss.

As their lips parted, she looked up at him with her soft blue eyes, a small strand of her blonde locks slipping out from behind her ear. "There's a first time for everything, Winchester and you know how that part of town creeps me out." She replied as Sam brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"I'll be there, trust me. I don't s'pose you'll tell me what the surprise is now, will you?"

"Nu-uh." She said, shaking her head. "It'll ruin it otherwise."

Sam rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile at her. God, he loved her so much. He had no idea what he'd do without her. It was strange to think that they'd only been together for two years, it felt like an eternity and he'd give anything to be with her an eternity more.

Just then, the Impala pulled up behind them. Sam sighed and turned around slightly, giving his brother a small wave in acknowledgement before turning to face Jess again.

"Okay, nine it is. I'll see you then."

Jess stood up on her tiptoes and planted another small kiss on his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck before she let go and smiled up at him.

"See you." She replied, giving him a wave, making sure to give Dean one as well as she walked up the path leading to her house.

Sam watched her leave, a big smile plastered on his face.

Jess' hand hovered over the door handle before she turned around and gave Sam a wink before she disappeared inside.

As the door clicked shut, Sam spun on his heel and yanked open the passenger side door before slouching down in the warm leather seat. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Dean replied as he ruffled his kid brother's hair.

"Quit it!" Sam growled, swatting his brother's hand away.

"How was Jess?" he asked as he began to drive back home.

"Good. She wants me to meet her at nine though."

"How come?".

"I dunno, she said it was a surprise."

"Very mysterious."

"Yeah."

"You'll have to walk there though, Sammy 'cause I'm havin' a drink with Gabriel and Jo at 8:30."

"It's _Sam. _S'cool, s'not that far away anyway."

Dean grinned at his younger brother, turning the volume up. Sam gave Dean one of his infamous bitchfaces as _You aint seen nothing yet _by _Bachman Turner Overdrive _blared through the speakers.

When they arrived, Sam clambered out of the car then knocked on the front door. He waited for a few minutes before Ellen _finally _opened the door. "Look's like someone's in a good mood." She commented, noticing his big smile.

Sam walked inside, Dean following behind. The youngest Winchester dumped his rucksack by the door and looked at Ellen. "I've just had a really good day." He said, hearing the loud footsteps of his brother walking up to his bedroom.

"It ain't over yet, son. You might wanna go hav'a look at what yer brother got ya." He heard Bobby call out from the living room where he was probably reading.

"Dean got me somethin'?"

"'Course he did ya idjit."

"He didn't say." Sam answered, furrowing his brow. He left the room and trudged upstairs. He paused before knocking on his brother's bedroom door. When he did, Dean flung it open.

His older brother flopped himself down on to the edge of the bed and beckoned Sam over. He obeyed and watched as Dean grabbed a gift covered in glossy green wrapping paper. He passed it over to Sam, a small smile playing on his lips. "Happy 17th birthday, Sammy."

Sam looked down at it, stunned. Dean hardly ever bought him something this big. Wow, just wow. He sat himself down beside his brother and carefully unwrapped the present. As soon as his eyes lay on what was inside, he gasped and stared at it wide eyed.

"You didn't…this isn't…" he said, his voice trailing off.

"Go on, say it, I'm an awesome brother."

Sam ignored him and said "Thanks, Dean. Seriously, thank you."

He couldn't believe it. Dean had actually bought him a _laptop_. He'd been wanting one since forever. Sam put down the box and wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him in to a tight hug. Dean was stunned to say the least.

"Dude, no chick flick moments." He said, refusing to admit that he was pleased with Sam's reaction. Dean couldn't help but smile at his Sam. He hadn't seen a grin that big on Sammy since, well, since before his parents died. At that thought though, his smile faltered for a moment.

Sam checked his watch and noticed that there was one hour left until he had to leave. "I've gotta go get ready."

"Sure, I'll charge it for when you get back, dude.". It wouldn't take too long to set it up for him and then once he'd done that, he and Jo could go meet Gabriel at the bar. "By the way, tell Jo that if she comes in to my room again, she can kiss her phone goodbye."

Sam laughed lightly and shook his head as he left his brother's room. On the way to the bathroom, he spotted Jo playing with their dog, Bones. "You shouldn't go in to Dean's room y'know, he's actually gonna carry out his threats if you keep on doin' it."

"You can tell princess that if he stops comin' in to _my _room to use _my _TV, then I'll stop goin' in to his."

Sam rolled his eyes. He often felt like _he _was the eldest out of the three, not the youngest. Those two always acted like a bunch of two year olds on their _good _days.

"Whatever, I'm havin' a shower." He replied dismissively.

After he'd taken his lukewarm shower and his hair smelt of the watermelon shampoo that Jess loved but his brother teased him so much about, he pulled on the new shirt Jo had given for his birthday and a pair of jeans. The top was purple with a greyhound on it. It was a strange top but he liked it anyway.

When he left the bathroom, Dean and Jo had already left to go and meet Gabriel. He raked a hand through his towel dried hair and grabbed his jacket before saying bye to Ellen and Bobby. He left the house and cursed under his breath as a single rain drop hit the tip of his nose. Great, it was starting to rain and he still had a couple of blocks left.

When he started walking to the where they were going to meet up, he checked his watch which read five to nine. He'd have to walk fast if he was going to get there on time like he'd promised.

As he turned around the corner, he heard someone shout "Hey, kid. Little help here?"

Sam narrowed his eyes and scanned the area for the source of the noise. His gaze soon settled on a guy who was huddled in the shadows, his hands tied behind him with coarse rope. Little did he know that the guy was being held there while the man who'd tied him up in the first place was calling the cops.

"Oh my god…what happened?" he asked, taking a few tentative steps closer, eyeing his split lip and black eye.

"Some guy mugged me. You've gotta untie me, man."

"Uhh…okay, okay." He replied nervously as he knelt down beside him and started to untie him. When he was released, the guy patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks, kid." He replied, before running off down the street.

Sam frowned, wondering why the guy had decided to run. The mugger wasn't here anymore, so why the rush? He shrugged and checked his watch again which read two minutes past nine. "Shit…" he sprinted to where he was supposed to meet Jess and when he arrived at ten past nine, his breath caught in his throat.

The man from earlier was holding Jess up against a wall, a wicked grin plastered on his face. "Thanks, love." he said as he grabbed her phone and purse. He gave her a quick, peck on the lips before digging in to his pocket, taking out a sharp blade that glistened in the moonlight.

"Jess!" Sam yelled but it was no use, he was too far away. He was just too goddamn far away.

Jess' eyes were red rimmed with tears as she turned her head in time to see Sam running towards her but Sam's name was caught in her throat as the knife plunged in to her chest. When the youngest Winchester arrived, the man had already gone, taking her belongings with him.

Jess flopped forward, just in time for Sam to catch her in his arms. He dropped down to his knees and cradled her in his arms. "J-Jess? It's not that bad, right? You're okay, you're okay." He said but he wasn't sure whether he was trying to comfort her or himself.

"Sam." She breathed, her eyes locking on to his like an anchor, holding on to her last moments of life.

"It's fine, it's not even that deep." He said, choking back a sob as his hands fumbled for his phone. He dialled 911 and told them everything before hanging up.

"Please be okay, please."

"S'm. I'm…sorry."

"S-sorry? Why? This was my fault, all of it. I…I…shouldn't…I…" he said, not being able to finish his sentence as he burst in to tears.

"S'okay, baby. Shh…s'okay. I want…I want…" she said, a small tear rolling down her cheek.

"W-what? The ambulance is gonna be here any minute, okay? You'll be fine. Please be fine." He replied, wiping away her tear with his thumb.

"S'm listen. I wanted to say…I…love you. Always…have. Promise…promise me you won't blame yourself."

"I…" he began but before he could finish, her body went lax as she stared up at him, her eyes unseeing.

"J-Jess? JESS! NO! No, no, no. I love you, please, come back. Don't do this, please. Jess? Oh god, Jess?"

Her body slipped out of his hands as he saw the blood that had soaked through her shirt, covering his hands. If he wasn't so shocked, he was sure he'd have thrown up by now. All he could see was blood. It was everywhere, in her hair, in his new shirt…everywhere. His vision started to lose focus as he watched the stream of the dark red liquid wash away from the pelting rain. Soon, all he could see was black and it was a relief to not be able to see the red anymore as he slipped in to unconsciousness, slumping over her body.


	2. I'll be your friend

**Chapter 2**

**I'll be your friend**

Sam stared up at the ceiling, feeling nothing. He'd woken up at 1am from another nightmare and hadn't bothered going back to sleep. There was no point.

As the alarm went off, repeating that annoying beeping noise he hated so much, he sat up and glanced down at his bedside table where he kept the small blue box that Jess had been holding just before she died.

He'd read the neatly folded letter that was inside the box every morning since the incident and would probably carry on doing so.

_Dear Sam, _

_Wow, it's been two years already, huh? Time flies when you're having fun, I suppose. I remember when we first met all those years ago. It was my first day in kindergarten and no one would play with me because my mom had chicken pox but you came right up to me and said, and I quote "I'll play with you. I'm not scared of chickens or poxes, just clowns. I don't think you can catch clowns. When I asked Dean, he said I was just being silly." _

_Just thinking about it now makes me laugh. At the time though, it wasn't that amusing when we both caught it at the same time. Bobby forced you and Dean to stay at my house for the whole week, even though Dean wasn't sick because Bobby said it was better for him to get it out of the way. Dean was such a baby about it but even though you were ill, you said it was worth it because you got to have the biggest sleepover with me._

_ It's a shame it took me so long to realise I was in love with you, Sam, but I am. I know it now. I really do and I hope to God you feel the same way because I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. Anyway, enough of my waffling, happy birthday, baby. I hope it's a good one. I think you'll like what's inside the box as well, if not, we can change it, but as soon as I saw it, I knew it was for you. _

_Love from,_

_Jess xxx_

Sam folded the letter up again and placed it carefully back in to the little box. Then, he took out the gift that was buried inside. It was wrapped in a pale blue tissue paper. He didn't dare tear it but as he unwrapped it again, he swallowed hard. It was a simple silver ring which had her name inscribed on the inside.

Jess had been wearing one the day she…the day she…yeah. However, it had his name inscribed on it instead.

Her funeral was a couple of days ago and she'd been buried with it. He was half tempted to bury the letter with her. Part of him wanted to scrunch it up, rip it to shreds and never have to read it again but whenever he got close to doing so, he'd become a coward and not go through with it. He didn't want to get rid of the last thing she written to him, he was scared he'd forget about it if he did.

Sam let out a shaky breath and slipped the ring on to his fourth finger of his right hand.

Just then, he heard someone knocking on the door.

Sam didn't answer but Dean walked in anyway.

"Sammy, you don't have to do this y'know. The teachers said you can stay at home for a couple more days if you're not feelin' up to it."

No answer.

Dean sighed and dragged his hand across his face tiredly. "You're gonna have to speak to me at some point, Sam."

Nothing.

"Or at least Bobby 'n Ellen. They're worried about you, Sammy. We all are."

Sam averted his gaze and started absentmindedly fiddling with his ring.

Dean chewed his lower lip and gave up, leaving Sam in the room alone.

When he left, Sam picked up his rucksack and instead of wearing his plaid shirt, he put on his grey t-shirt and black hoody, so he could hide his face at school.

He trudged downstairs, ignoring everyone in the house as he made his way to school.

When he arrived, he stopped outside the gate and suddenly felt nervous all over again.

He wiped his sweaty hands on his old jeans and ploughed through the crowd of kids. He was staring at the floor the whole time but he could still feel everyone's eyes on him.

Sam soon reached his locker and inhaled sharply as he saw the pictures of him and Jess taped to the inside. He ripped them off and stuffed them in to the back of his locker where he wouldn't be able to see them again and grabbed his maths books.

Jess used to be rubbish at maths and she'd always come over after school so that he could help her with the work. Sam slammed his locker door shut and rested his head against the cool metal, trying to forget the memories that kept resurfacing.

"A-Are you alright?" he heard a small voice beside him ask.

It took Sam a few moments but he regained his composure and turned to face Castiel.

He'd never spoken to him before but he knew his brother, Gabriel. He'd often come over to hang out with Dean.

He actually got on pretty well with him but apart from when he was coming over to see Dean, they never really talked.

Sam shrugged.

"You've got maths next, right?"

Sam was grateful that he wasn't bringing up Jessica's death which most people seemed to be doing.

He gave a small nod.

"Same. It's almost lesson time though, so we should probably start walking towards the Maths corridor."

He shrugged again as he walked beside Castiel to the Maths room.

"It's your first day back, isn't it?"

No answer. He didn't think there would be. Castiel couldn't help but feel sorry for Sam. He'd heard rumours that he hadn't spoken since the…incident. Now he'd seen for himself that the rumours were true.

When they reached the classroom, Cas walked in first and took his usual place beside the window at the back.

Sam shut the door behind him and stood there, feeling out of place. He would usually sit beside Jess on the middle row but someone else was sitting there now.

He didn't want to sit in Jessica's place which just left three more empty seats.

He went to go sit beside Jess' friend, Becky but she just shook her head and covered the seat with her books. "Beat it, psycho."

Sam looked at her, a mixture of confusion and surprise crossing his features. It wasn't like they were best friends before Jess' death but often when Sam went over to Jess' house, Becky would be there as well and they used to get along pretty well.

He gave Becky one last hurt look, then turned to face the rest of the class who were staring at him expectantly, wondering which seat he'd try to sit in next.

His gaze soon settled on Cas who was reading beside the window. Surely, he wouldn't mind if he sat next to him, right? He seemed like a nice guy.

Sam took his chances and dumped his bag on the desk beside him. He sat down, slouching in the seat.

He sighed with relief when Cas didn't make any effort to get rid of him.

Castiel gave him a curious glance and offered him a small smile but he wasn't sure whether Sam had seen it or not. He looked around the class and wondered why half of them seemed to giving Sam glares.

At that moment, he felt someone tap him on his left shoulder. Cas turned around, surprised that Mandy was even acknowledging him.

She smiled sweetly at him, flicking her long brown hair out of her eyes as she passed him a note.

Castiel took it and opened it up slowly.

_Why're you sitting next to him? You still have time to move before class starts. _

He frowned down at the crumpled paper and wrote back in scrawled handwriting.

_Why not? I'm fine, thank you. _

He passed it back to her, giving her a questioning look.

She rolled her eyes and wrote down on the paper again in purple ink.

_Haven't you heard the rumours? Apparently, he was found next to her body, with no one else in sight. Everyone's saying that he was the one who murdered Jess. I wouldn't sit next to him if I were you, he's a freak._

Mandy passed the note back and sat up straighter as the teacher walked in to the classroom.

Cas read it and glimpsed at Sam who was fidgeting with a silver ring, turning it around and around in his hand.

He scrunched up the paper and shoved it in to his pocket. Cas wouldn't listen to some callous made-up high school rumour. He wasn't a sheep like everyone else and he was sure Sam didn't deserve this kind of treatment.

Cas looked at the youngest Winchester sadly before turning his attention back to the teacher.


	3. Through the looking glass

**Chapter 3**

**Through the looking glass**

After class, Sam stuffed his books in to his rucksack and made a beeline for his locker. Everyone was acting strange around him and it was making him feel uneasy. No one would even talk to him…well, apart from Cas, which was weird because he'd never spoken to the guy before today.

Sam was about to open his locker when someone yanked his shoulder and spun him around. He was now face to face with Gordon Walker. Great. Just fucking great.

If he'd said that Gordon hated him that would've been a massive understatement. Ever since he'd started going out with Jess, the nasty remarks had only gotten worse.

Gordon grabbed hold of his hoody and pushed him up against the locker roughly.

Sam may have been taller than the guy but he:

a. didn't want to get in to a fight, and

b. wasn't strong enough anyway

"I've heard rumours, Sammy." He growled.

Sam tilted his head as far away as he could, trying to avoid the spit flying in to his face.

At being given the silent treatment, it only made Gordon even angrier. Usually the youngest Winchester would at least take the bait and say he was called Sam not Sammy.

"They're sayin' you killed Jess. S'that true? Huh? Answer me, Winchester."

Sam stood there limply, staring at the floor, trying not to cry. He wouldn't cry. He'd promised himself he wouldn't do that at school. Gordon was right, it was all his fault. If only he'd been faster or simply just ignored the guy who was tied up, she'd still be alive.

Jess could've been a nurse like she'd always wanted. She could've had kids, _heck_, grandkids even but because of him, she would never get the chance.

"No reply? I'm warnin' you, if you don't answer me, I'll just have to assume you _did _murder her just like your fucking mother."

Silence.

"Fuck you." Gordon spat as he sent a right hook punch in to Sam's jaw. The force sent Sam sprawling and before he could pick himself up off the floor, he was yanked by his hood and punched again, this time harder.

Sam stood there limply, waiting for the next punch. He didn't want to run or fight. He deserved it. He deserved it all.

Gordon threw his fist in to Sam's stomach, causing him to double over in pain. He coughed, fresh tears pricking his hazel eyes.

When he looked up again, Gordon was gone. The corridor was now empty; the crowd had dispersed, leaving Sam on his own. The next lesson had started.

He trudged in to the bathroom that was just down the corridor and sighed with relief when he found that it was empty.

Sam leaned against the sink and stared in to the mirror at his sickening reflection. Oh, fuck, he was getting a black eye. Dean would kill him.

He sniffed and gently patted cool water on to his face at an attempt to wash away the dark blood. Just looking at the red substance made him think of Jessica all over again and…Oh god, please don't be sick, please don't be sick, he thought to himself.

Sam took a deep breath and the sadness was now being replaced by an infuriating anger at himself, at Gordon, at life. Why couldn't he have died instead? Why did it have to be Jess? This wasn't supposed to happen. None of this was, they were supposed to buy an apartment together. They'd been thinking about it for months. Then, maybe even get married and have kids. Just, not _this._ Anything but this.

He couldn't stand to look at himself, so in a fit of blind fury, he punched the mirror, shattering the glass. Seven years of bad luck could kiss his ass.

When he'd calmed down enough, he noticed the throbbing pain in his fist. Sam glanced down and was almost sick again when he saw how much blood there was. He shoved his hand under the cold tap and watched as the cool water washed it away, swirling down the drain.

He then slid off his ring and placed it on the edge of the sink before gently picking out the pieces of glass that had been lodged in to his skin. Just as he'd finished, he heard someone approaching the bathroom door, so he quickly hid himself inside one of the stalls.

If he was caught, he'd get expelled for sure or at least suspended.

He breathed through his nose quietly, trying not to make a noise as he spotted the bottom of someone's shoes as they stepped towards the sink.

Cas' eyebrows shot up to his hairline when he saw the damage done to the mirror and spotted the remainders of someone's blood in the sink. He stood there in silence for a moment and heard sniffling coming from the locked stall.

Castiel's gaze soon settled on the blood covered silver ring and he sighed_. _It looked just like one Sam had been wearing earlier that day. _Oh, Sam what have you done?_ he thought to himself.

He wasn't sure whether he should just leave and ignore what he'd just seen or try to help Sam, that is if Sam would let him. Castiel chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. Gabriel would be so much better at this than him.

"Sam, I know you're in there."

Silence, just like he'd expected.

"I've got bandages at home. You can't leave your hand like that and if the teachers see what you've done, they'll suspend you for sure. I haven't got any more lessons today. I could take you now, if you want."

Sam stood behind the door, muted. Part of him wanted to stay inside the stall, behind the locked door so he wouldn't have to face anyone ever again but he knew how stupid that was. He'd eventually have to leave and Cas had literally just offered to help him out. He'd be an idiot to refuse, right?

Sam slowly unlocked the door and stepped outside, not meeting Castiel's judging gaze.

Cas inhaled sharply at the sight of Sam's hand but didn't mention it. "You forgot your ring." He said simply as he reached out to take it but Sam had already snatched it before he'd finished his sentence. He wondered why it was so important to him.

"Come on, you've met my brother Gabriel, haven't you? He'll be there too."


	4. Sam Winchester and the Holy Grail

**Chapter 4**

**Sam Winchester and the Holy Grail**

**_Previously:_**_Cas inhaled sharply at the sight of Sam's hand but didn't mention it. "You forgot your ring." He said simply as he reached out to take it but Sam had already snatched it before he'd finished his sentence. He wondered why it was so important to him._

_"Come on, you've met my brother Gabriel, haven't you? He'll be there too."_

"Castiel, how's my favourite baby broth—"

Gabriel's gaze drifted from Cas to the kid who's face was mostly concealed by his dark hoody. He then caught a glimpse of the kid's hand. He was cradling it close to his chest and it was covered in gashes. He inhaled sharply at the sight.

"Oh hey. Who's this?" Gabriel asked curiously.

"I'm also your least favourite, seeing as I'm your only younger brother Gabriel… and I'm fine. This is Sam Winchester." Cas answered bluntly. "I believe you've met before."

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. Castiel was hopeless sometimes. At the mention of Sam though, he cocked his head to the side and frowned.

Sam? That couldn't be Sam could it? The kid had dark circles under his eyes and not just from the black eye. His hair was dishevelled and falling in to his eyes. Probably as an attempt to hide is face. "Sam? Uhh, yeah we've met a couple o' times. Damn…I didn't recognize you...well, before you come in you must answer me this. What exactly is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" He joked, flashing Sam a grin, hopefully his attempt at quoting Monty Python would help lighten the mood but all he received was a deadly glare from Castiel.

At that, Sam looked up at Gabriel, the corner of his mouth twitching in to a smile. "What do you mean, African or European swallow?" he joked back, though his voice was slightly hoarse from not speaking.

Castiel stared at him stunned as Gabriel let out a small laugh. He held up his hand, saying "High five for Monty Python." However, he soon remembered the state of Sam's hand and said "Oh…uhh, no, on second thought, better not."

Sam nodded and went back to staying quiet again.

"What happened, anyway?" he asked when they both walked inside.

"Sam cut his hand."

"Well, _duh_. What I meant was, _how _did it happen?" he asked, the sound of his voice fading as he walked in to the bathroom to find the first aid kit.

"I…I don't know."

Sam gave him a grateful look and flopped himself down on the couch, taking off his hoody. He was exhausted and everything hurt. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since before Jessica's death and it was starting to show.

"Sam?" Gabriel asked, hoping he'd give a couple of hints as to what happened.

No answer.

He was about to call him again when Castiel shook his head at him.

Gabriel shrugged and brought in the first aid kit. He sat himself down beside Sam while Castiel went to his bedroom, no doubt to do his homework.

They were so different; a lot of people used to mistake them for friends, not brothers. Gabriel often felt like he was the black sheep of the family because Cas took so much after his older siblings Michael and Anna.

Anna however, was the only one who found Gabriel even remotely amusing, so they got on pretty well. Not that he didn't with Cas, but they were just so dissimilar. Cas could never take a joke, just like Michael and Gabriel was cracking them all the time.

His two brothers wouldn't know what a joke was if it came and bit them in the ass.

"Let's have a look." Gabriel said, taking Sam's hand in his own. He cringed when he saw the damage but didn't say anything as he took out some wipes and started cleaning the dried blood from the cuts. "If I didn't know better I'd say you punched a mirror."

Sam gave him a pained look.

"Been there, done that, don't worry 'bout it kiddo…and unless you headbutted the mirror as well, somethin' else must've happened but I won't ask." He said, noticing the black eye and wincing.

Sam raised his eyebrow. Gabriel had done the same before? Maybe he was just lying to make him feel better.

"S'pretty nasty bruise and gash on your face that you've got there, too."

Sam shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "S'just a flesh wound."

Gabriel chuckled and patted him on the back. "Exactly. Just a flesh wound."

He wrapped a cream white bandage around Sam's hand and when he finished, he took the first aid kit back to where he found it. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror and sighed.

He hated the fact that he had a crush on Dean's little brother. He knew the kid would never feel the same way about him and anyway he was like four years older, so even if Sam was gay, which he wasn't, then why the hell would he want to go out with _him_?

It was then that he decided he'd try to help Sam instead. He'd heard all about what had happened to Jessica and the kid looked like shit to say the least. He needed help and he wanted to be the one to give it. He could become his friend, right? That was the next best thing.

When he walked back out of the bathroom, he looked down at the couch and smirked. Sam was sprawled asleep on the couch, one arm and leg was hanging limply off the edge and his other leg was lying propped up on the arm rest because he was too tall to fit properly.

Gabriel checked the time and decided he better call Dean to tell him where Sam was. He doubted the youngest Winchester had told anyone he was coming here. He dialled Dean's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Gabriel, hey. What's up?"

"Nothin' much but I've got a Winchester passed out on my couch."

"Sammy?"

"That'll be the one."

"The hell? What's he doin' over there? Is he okay?"

"Uhh…"

"Gabriel."

"Well, I think he might've gotten in to a fight. I'm not sure. Cas brought him here to get patched up."

"Shit…I'm sorry…thanks, man."

"No need to apologize, it's cool."

"I'll come and pick him up now. Just give me a couple of minutes and I'll be there."

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it, he can stay over if it's easier."

"Really? Ya sure?"

"Hells yeah, I'll move him to the spare room, it's fine."

"Thanks, dude. I owe you one. By the way, if Sammy's ignoring you, don't sweat it, he hasn't spoken since…yeah, y'know."

"Yeah, about that, I'd heard the same but he actually spoke a couple of words to me today."

"Wait…what? Seriously? What did he say?"

"I just made a Monty Python reference and he caught up on it, believe it or not."

"Huh. Well, I'll be damned. I think you're the only one who's managed to get him to talk. Thanks again."

"No problem, Dean-o. See you around."

"Yeah, see you."

Gabriel hung up and put the phone down, a big grin on his face. He'd managed to do something right. Sam had talked to him when he wouldn't talk to anyone else, so he must've been doing something right.

He then decided a nap sounded like a good idea, so he collapsed on to the other couch, just out of arms reach of Sam. His golden hues lay on Sam's sleeping form for a brief moment before he drifted in to a deep sleep too.

**_3 hours later – 6:30pm_**

Castiel shook his brother's shoulder, trying to rouse him from his sleep. "That was only one time. It was New Year's Eve." Gabriel babbled in his sleep. Cas shook him again.

"Wha—?" he said, blinking his eyes open.

"Where's Sam?"

"He's right ther-" Gabriel replied, his voice trailing off as he spotted the empty space where Sam had been. "Are you kiddin' me?"

He picked himself up off the couch and yawned. Dean was going to kill him. He dialled Sam's number and waited. Okay, he'd never asked for Sam's number exactly but he'd seen it on Dean's phone when he'd borrowed it one time, so he'd decided to copy it down…just in case.

Sam didn't pick up.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Gabriel grabbed his jacket and yanked the door open, groaning when he saw it was pouring outside. The icy rain pellets soaked him instantly. He quickly pulled on his jacket and shivered. "Sam?!" he called out.


	5. The pizzaman

**Chapter 5**

_**The pizzaman**_

_**Previously: **__Dammit, dammit, dammit. Gabriel grabbed his jacket and yanked the door open, groaning when he saw it was pouring outside. The icy rain pellets soaked him instantly. He quickly pulled on his jacket and shivered. "Sam?!" he called out._

Sam sat huddled in the bus stop shelter, shivering. He watched as the harsh raindrops filled the overflowing puddle in front of him. A greasy coin lay in the middle of it but he didn't bother to pick it up. He didn't want believe in superstitions and even if he did, he didn't want need any luck.

The only thing he wanted was Jess back, or at least for her to take his place and he doubted a coin could give him any of the above.

"Sam?" he could hear someone calling distantly.

He groaned, but didn't bother running away, they'd find him eventually. Why didn't they understand he _wanted _to be alone?

Earlier he'd woken up from his usual nightmare, drenched in his own sweat and knew that if he stayed there on the comfy couch, he'd drift off to sleep again only to wake up again a few minutes later.

The icy rain was a relief for him because it kept him alert, making him forget how worn-out he felt.

"Sam?" he heard again, louder this time and he could make out the sound of footsteps approaching.

Sam picked at the thread of his jeans absentmindedly, waiting for the person to arrive.

"Sam." The person repeated his name again but this time it wasn't said as a question. He recognized the sound of the voice now that he was near. Gabriel.

Gabriel sat on the wet bench, beside Sam. His long hair was plastered to his face from the rain, so he raked a hand through it, finding it annoying how it clinged to his skin.

"You gonna speak to me?"

Sam grunted in response.

"I'm gonna have to change those bandages again, the rains soaked straight through 'em. What were you even doin' all the way out here, kiddo?"

"I needed the space."

Gabriel nodded.

"You've gotta be hungry."

Sam shrugged. He hadn't thought about it. To be honest, he hadn't eaten much these past few days.

"If you come back, we can order a pizza or somethin'. Between you and me, I think Cas has a thing for the pizzaman."

A small smile played on Sam lips as he turned to face Gabriel. "Okay…what, seriously?"

"Yeah, that's why I like teasin' the pizzaman so much. Cas' reaction is priceless."

"Teasin' him? Like how?"

"Oh, like offering him pizza when he arrives or pretending I don't speak English. I even answered the door naked once, mind you, I was completely wasted."

Sam raised his eyebrows, then laughed lightly. "You didn't."

"Oh, I did."

"You're crazy."

"Definitely. If I wasn't, where would the fun be in that?"

Sam had to admit he had a point.

"Okay, so pizza it is." Gabriel replied with a small smile. He picked himself up off the bench and grinned when he spotted a coin in the middle of the puddle. "Ha!" he said, leaning forward to pick it up.

He dipped his hand in to the murky water and snatched it. Gabriel tossed it in to the air before catching it again and stuffing it in to his pocket.

"You believe in that kind of stuff?"

"Not really but it doesn't hurt, does it?"

"I s'pose not."

**_1 hour later – 8:30pm_**

The doorbell rang and Castiel internally groaned. Gabriel was going to do something stupid. He knew it. Everytime it was the same. He switched on the TV and pretended he was watching so Gabriel wouldn't drag him in to the conversation.

Sam was beside him but he'd turned around so he was kneeling on the couch, facing Gabriel who had just answered the door.

Castiel was surprised how well they were both getting on and even more surprised that Gabriel had managed to get Sam to talk. He'd always thought the two were complete opposites but maybe they were actually more similar than he'd originally believed?

Gabriel held a wad of monopoly money in his right hand when he opened the door. "Hey, thanks." He said, taking the box out of the pizza guy's hand. He now knew his name off by heart, it was Andy.

Andy looked at the other expectantly, waiting for what was going to happen next. There was always _something _that was going to happen next. "That'll be 15 dollars." He said slowly, not sure why nothing had happened yet.

"Sure thing." He replied, handing over the fake cash, flashing the other an amused grin.

Andy was so focussed on watching the other for some sort of prank, that he didn't notice what was wrong with the money he'd just been handed. He narrowed his eyes and stuffed the cash in to his pocket and started walking away without a word.

Gabriel kept the door open as he leant against the doorframe, waiting for Andy to come back. "Any second now." He said, watching the other from a distance.

"What the—? Hey! This isn't real money!" he heard someone shouting all the way down the street.

When the pizza guy stormed back in and shoved the monopoly money back in to Gabriel's hand, Gabriel apologized and smiled sweetly, exchanging it for another wad of monopoly money.

Andy glared at him and turned on his heel but stopped midway on the steps when he saw that it was still the wrong money.

Gabriel could hear snickering behind him but kept his expression as calm and innocent as possible. "Oh, my mistake. Here you go, that should be it." He replied, finally giving Andy the actual money.

When he'd left for real this time, Gabriel shut the door behind him and put on a bad and overly exaggerated Italian accent. "Molto bene. This pizza should be to your satisfaction, your lordship." He mocked, bowing to Sam as he opened it to reveal Margherita Pizza.

Sam rolled his eyes, giving Gabriel one of his infamous bitchfaces as he took a slice and started munching in to it straight away. It shocked him at how fast he'd finished the slice because he didn't think he was that hungry. Sam thought for a moment before taking another.

Castiel took one as well but just nibbled at it while Gabriel took two slices and started eating them both at the same time. "This pizza is Heaven." He exclaimed, his voice muffled from his mouth being too full which earned him a disapproving look from Cas but a small smile and nod from Sam.


End file.
